I feel Twitty

I think I'm treating this blog like Twitter. Well, a non-public version of Twitter, which I'm sure is beyond everyone's imagination. (Am I on to something here Mark Zuckerberg?) Which reminds me, I recently joined Twitter (Yes I am a sell out. I'm even thinking of getting a BB). But I had absolutely nothing to tweet about. I guess it's quite convenient, reading the most immediate updates by all those beyond one's reach. So far, I have followed only Nigella Lawson, a couple of journalists, some fashion magazines, Nadal, Michael C Hall and Desmond Harrington. Dexter mode. But I just don't see myself getting hooked to it, the way I am to Facebook.

Maybe I just need to give it time. Everyone deserves a second chance. But the sound of tweeting just does not appeal to me. It reminds me of Old McDonald who had a farm. With a tweet tweet here and a tweet tweet there. Till he shut down his farm and became old McDonald who has a multi-billion dollar international fast food chain. Diversion: Why does Ronald McDonald have such huge shoes??? And why does he have that creepy smile on his face? Does this make people want to eat there more? I have gone past McDonalds so many times and it is insane the amount of times I have seen grown adults sitting on his lap. Why oh why? Personally, getting chummy with a clown type thing who looks terribly like a pedo has never been on my to-do list. Call me closed-minded but NO. I do love the McChicken burger though. :)

It's surprising how McDonalds' food varies in different countries. India and the USA are some of the few places where they keep vegetarian options. I get the variance with respect to vegetarianism, it makes sense. But when will the apple pie come to India? Please come soon, I want to eat you*. Apples are wonderful. They can be made into juice, pie, cake, cider, martinis, candy. So can most other fruits, but they don't keep the doctor away now do they? (I know this is not funny). Pommes.

So.. Twitter. I guess I'll give it another shot. I just thought of a bunch of people I want to stalk. La la la . .

*creepy Ronald grin*

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* Thank you Ratieka for reminding me of those apple pies. I've been drooling since.

When pissed beyond belief, go to a seemingly isolated place and yell "NONDE??!"

Yes, it works.

Past Cullen-ary skills

With teeth as sharp as swords
And skin as white as snow
Beauty that would put to shame all the Greek Gods
His intense honey eyes glow

His touch as cold as ice
Perfectly melts upon the warmth of (my) skin
Devoid of any vice
His gaze commanding sin

His voice – a reflection of perfection
Sensually whispers in soft undertones
Never failing to get an erection :D
His massive manhood makes one moan

With pleasure unknown to humankind
He effortlessly fills every void
Takes over body and mind
Life and death alloyed

This is Diego

Ode to an iced latte

By Navni and Urvee M

What is it you do to me?

Tall and slender coffee. .
The chocolate flakes add to your sex appeal
All in all, you are a satiating meal
Yes, it is the real deal.
So wonderful inside of me you feel
The deepest of wounds you can heal
Over you, many bonds we seal.
From my emotionless self, my heart you steal
Leaving me the remains to peel
In my anguish, over I keel
In your holy presence, I kneel
Instilling within me moans and squeals.
In my head you make me turn cartwheels
You give me the confidence to not don heels
Making me feel like Jessica Biel.
Justin is a worthy opponent
But I would pitch him under any tent
In front of him I would like to be bent
Smothered with kisses; totally spent
Yes, that is exactly how it is meant
And that is how this glorious ode ents.

(25th jan 2009.. or somewhere close to it)

Twilight India

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. They are right.

I'll be honest. I was a fan of the Twilight series- the books. And I lusted after Edward Cullen, like every other stupid girl in the world. But my love completely faded away into oblivion the day I watched the movie. Love story between a girl and a sexy vampire turned into some sort of dialogue between two retarded people- I could literally see the cogwheels going round and round inside Rob Pattinson's head as he struggled to construct a sentence (Ditto Bella). And what was with his lipstick?? Bella was too stoned, Alice too squeaky, Rosalie too fat, Carlisle too gay, Emmett not big enough. Did they get anything right? The end was really the icing on the cake- Bella twitching cock eyed on the floor while Edward was once again .... thinking. (tick tock tick tock)

You'd think it couldn't get worse. And I would have agreed with you, had I not been aware of a slimy creature which goes by the name of Ekta Kapoor. Kapoor was so mesmerized by Stephanie Meyer's concept that she vowed to take up the challenge to reconstruct the magical world of Twilight in hindi. No she did not simply steal the movie and translate it. So what if the first trailer features Indian Bella almost getting hit by a car and her vampire sweetheart coming to her rescue at superhuman speed? (the exact same scene from the the book. And the movie). She was merely inspired. And she has put her imaginative nymph to work. Edward, played by Vivian Dsena is not an ice cold vampire like Edward, but just the opposite. The trailers show a butterfly being reduced to ashes on contact with his skin. Improvisation at its very best.

The title? Pyar ki yeh ek kahani. I can already picture all the aunties swooning over our very own desi vampire. *drool*

It starts on the 18th of October. Don't miss it. I know I won't. Laughter is an essential exercise in today's grim, pressure-filled world. So go on, watch the trailers, recommend them, spread some christmas cheer :)

Block head

Writer's block is something writers experience occasionally when they can't pen down their thoughts or as Wiki says someone in the writing profession loses the ability to produce new work, temporarily.

This is something I experience on a daily basis, which is starting to worry me. Even right now, this very post- I have nothing else to add.

I am a journalism student. I have a truckload of assignments to get down to, but instead I am staring into space. This post is an attempt to convince myself of my ability to string words together.

I used to write poetry, I used to write sense. Is it possible to lose that? I thought I would get smarter with age, but I seem to have gone straight to the senile stage.

What to do!

Hello

I talk to myself.